I apologize to you dear blog readers that it has been a while since my last post. I really wanted 3 days to be the max gap between a post... but the past few have been pretty horrible.
I feel too wiped to go into the details, but Jesse had a horrible flu and stomach bug, and I have cleaned up more throw-up than I think I have personally produced in the past 20 years. Jesse is not quite at the age where he thinks to "run to the toilet," but for some reason he does think "RUN"... and so our floors, furniture books, and toys have also needed to be cleaned several times. Throw in a clingy, CLINGY, soooooo CLINGY little girl, a dog who loves to play in puke, and pregnant tired woman, and I feel like I could just go to bed and sleep for 48 hours straight.
TGIF! Oh wait- I'm a mom.
( I saw a funny saying like that on facebook tonight- not my genius there)
The highlight of my day today was at 7 pm after the kids were in bed, Katie was home, and so Dave I went to the grocery store together. We meandered through the aisles leisurely grabbing our items without negotiating Jesse's whining for every item he wants, Janna's sporadic slapping screaming attacks towards Jesse, and having REAL big people conversation. It was nice to see the casual polite grins and nods towards my pregnant belly in the store, not the watchful eyes as I attempt to keep my kids under control as they beg for a treat as we are pinned next to shelves of candy at the check out. I hate the strategically placed candy at the check-out. HATE IT.
Aren't I just a positive Polly tonight? He He. Really, I love my kids, wouldn't trade them for the world. But would I leave them tonight and fly to Hawaii with my friend Mary for the week if I could? Yes! I would! Truth is, it's ok to feel blue after a few rough days and I think it's good to show that to the world sometimes.
A girl I went to high school with posted on her blog about the facade of perfection that can be overwhelming in the online world. She did this great post about how messy her house was, and how her kid only eats veggies if they are dipped in fruit juice, and mistakes she has made and things she has let her child do in desperate measures. And it was refreshing and real, and I think that moms can really get into the trap of trying to present only the rosy and happy. So, while I seriously considered taking a picture of throw up, I thought maybe that was taking it a step too far. Later in the day upon pondering gross things I could put on my blog, I considered taking a picture of my bathroom before I sanitized and cleaned it this morning, but then I couldn't find the camera. Finally, I considered taking a picture of the bags under my eyes, my belly popping out of my disheveled dirty outfit along with my messy hair, and teeth that *I think* may not have gotten brushed this morning??? But then that thought just REALLY grossed me out, cause I'm 99% it's true, and I am feeling the need to type faster and go brush them. Skip picture!
Now, I'm feeling a bit of self-pity going on here, and I don't want to give in to that, either. So, I would like to end by just reminding myself of some of my greatest blessings. I am thankful my kids and other family are alive and well, my husband rocks and loves me, I live in a free country and have so much wealth compared to others in the world, Jesus saved me, and tomorrow is A NEW DAY! Thanks for reading! I'm out.
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Sometimes parenthood/motherhood has it's crappy moments (and it sounds like you've had a lot lately), and as I told Dan the other day, I love our kids, but sometimes I'd like to love them from a distance. I love the real-ness of your blog. It's refreshing.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know how other moms do it... I can't even imagine being in your shoes and being pregnant too (lots of respect for you and others!). But, that's not to say I don't have my share of struggles at home with 2 very active boys and a hubby working shift work. I'm thankful for any and all help that we get. Life with kids is not candy coated with sprinkles and rainbows (even though some people paint it like that)... it's a lot of work, stress, break downs, and sometimes you become the person you always swore you would never turn into (let's throw pms in there too and you have an atomic bomb ready to go off at any given time). But at the end of the day when they are sleeping in their beds, the world seems almost normal and the little mini vacations you get either to go to the grocery store alone or take an over nighter somewhere seem golden. We just need that healthy balance with lots of support during these toddler years. Prayers for you and the family on the days ahead! We are all truly blessed!
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