Tuesday, March 11, 2014

March break, pregnancy blahs, and the end of winter

I think I preface most of my blogs with this statement lately, but I’ll say it again: It’s been a while!  I see that my last blog was right around Janna’s birthday.  This was shortly after I found out I was pregnant.  I have not dropped off the face of planet, folks.  (Although, I really wouldn’t mind re-locationg close to the equator these days)  It has just been a couple of crazy months, with little to no extra time,  I tell ya. 

When Dave and I decided to try for another baby, I figured that the end of winter would be a good time to “DO” Trimester 1.  I have never been good at Trimester one.  The nausea, the barfing, the runs, the exhaustion.  But, for me, the worst is my emotions go a bit wild.  Everything that I may have previously found a bit sad, I find TEAR INDUCING- sobbing- shaking sad.  Things that may have made me bristle a bit, make me outright ANGRY and my nostrils flare, and I go around slamming things.  I feel like a bit of a manic version of myself.  So, I figured I should get this OUT of the way while I was also hating the end of winter.   I never do so well in February, and totally understand this Canadian thing to fly south for a week in February.  I’m sure there will come a time for me to do this when I don’t have nursing babies, really little kids, and a tight budget.  For now, I just dream, and go a bit stir crazy.

Where was I?  Yes, we decided to aim for the bad time of the pregnancy for the bad time of the year, and at a time where I was SUPER busy with extra kids to watch.  I was hoping it would distract me??? And you know, it kind of has.  The kids have so much joy, and they keep me on my toes.  They keep me listening to cheerful music, singing, reading happy books, heading outside to play, planning art activities, and eating well.  And while my days have been going well, I sort of crash on the family by supper.  The other night Janna spilled her water all over the table.  A tiny bit dripped on her, and a HUGE amount all over me.  She burst into tears, and I said, “ Janna, It’s okay.  You don’t need to cry over a bit of water spilled on you”  And then I looked down at my SOAKING jeans, and burst into tears.  I think Dave took care of bed time and the cleaning that night.  But, usually, he deals with the kids after supper, I clean up the house, and then am in bed between 7 and 8 once my work is done.   There has been no energy for anything else.  Hence the lag in blog.

I had been looking forward to March Break SOOOO much!  It was like a beautiful sliver of light in a grey sky that kept me looking up and moving ahead.  I would get a little reprieve from the hard work, and some time to do special things with just my family.  I had a list all made: pizza party, basement campout, skating at night, museum trips, one last sledding adventure, etc.   

On Friday at 5, once my 3 extra little people took off for the day, I crashed into a warm tub of water and ate pizza while Dave fed the kids supper, put Robyn to bed early, and took the older two swimming. (What a good man, I have)    It had been a rough week, particularly with Robyn who had an ear infection and was joining me in crazy world because of her meds.  I think this swim trip I recommended MAY have been a mistake.  I think this is where, perhaps the kids picked up, “the plague.”  Janna kicked it off  for us in the wee hours of the morning with intense vomit and runs, and Jesse joined the next day, and Robyn the next. 

I am both thankful and frustrated that it happened over March break.  It is great timing in that I have only a couple of working days with extra kids here, and Dave around to help and for moral support.  But, my list of fun things.......* tear* The kids have literally been laying around on the couch like zombies, and asking to go to bed at all hours of the day.  They have barely eaten a thing, and any bit of drink or food they do eat, comes out violently in one way or another L     

Dave and I have a good system going.  I am normally fine with the kid’s gross fluids, but I have found it super hard on my already nauseated self.  So, Dave has generally ran to wherever they are, stripped them and cleaned up the mess, while I run a bath and get them washed up and redressed and comforted.   Aside from the lurching, it has been SOOO quiet around here.  I miss the loudness and giggles and smiles.   Robyn and Jesse seemed to be on the up and up this morning, but are back in the pits this afternoon with Janna.   I am thankful that Dave and I have been spared so far.  I hope it stays that way!

Dave has been my super hero the past couple of months.  I feel like he just gets how to handle my emotions now (better than I do).  I guess by the fourth time around, he knows what to suggest, what to say, and not to say!   He’s definitely picked up any of my slack, and been encouraging and upbeat despite my tired daze by 5, and random emotional outbursts.  

He has also been very gracious when it comes to my pregnancy cravings.  With each kid I have found myself needing lots of milk and fruit.  With Jesse, I think it was blackberries, Janna might have been kiwi, and Robyn perhaps strawberries?  With this one, I have needed a glass of OJ when I wake up.  It’s the thing that pulls my tired butt out of bed and gets my feet down the steps.  I have also been chugging lots of milk and have a grapefruit most mornings.   It’s been easy to keep the fridge stocked with these things, and finding something for breakfast is not too bad.  But, my worst point of the day is supper.  I always feel SUPER gross at this hour, and there is ONE and ONLY ONE meal that I can possibly imagine cooking or eating that will not make me puke.  The bad thing is that it is different every day!  And I don’t really know what it’s gonna be until the kids wake up from their naps and my stomach starts churning.  So, there have been lots of runs to the grocery store for ingredients around dinner time.  My meal planning is kind of out the door right now.  I still plan, but we don’t really follow so well.    Today I needed a Greek salad.  Yesterday I needed roasted potatoes, the day before that pizza.  Last week I needed a chicken pot pie.  The week before there was spaghetti one night, and hot dogs another.  It’s just ridiculous.  Always different, always random.   But, as far as our plans go, this is the last baby and pregnancy, so I am just trying to embrace it all a bit?   

I really hope the kids get better in time to enjoy a few fun things before Dave heads back to work.  I have 2 more really busy 5 day work weeks with 2-3 extras each of those days, but then a couple of my extra kids are finished their contract, and I’ll be back to 4 day weeks with 1-2 extra per day.  I’ll be at the 14 week mark around then as well, and so my nausea and exhaustion should hopefully let up as it has in the past 3 pregnancies.  I have generally had really awesome second trimesters.   So, my new sliver of sun through the grey clouds is April 1.  And let me tell you, Mother Nature better not play some April Fool’s joke involving a snowstorm and 25 extra cms of snow.  Seriously.  I might have to run away for a week, and hijack all our savings for our east coast summer travel and fly to Hawaii for a week.   You may have been wondering if this thought came to me right now.  Nope.... it’s been brewing....


Well, on that unsettling note, I should be off and away. The kids are going on almost 3 hours of naps, and I should get a bit of work done while they are resting up.   You should SEE the laundry that the stomach flu (*3 kids) produces.  It is crazy.  Thanks one and all for reading.  And don’t worry for real about me.  April is coming, I can make it without running away I think.   I’m out!  

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