It’s Sunday, November 11th, and Dave is out to
church with the kids. After some
convincing from Dave, I am at home catching up some sleep and emotional restoration. I have to admit, I slept through the 11:00
hour. But did observe a moment of
silence once I got up, and have been thinking about how thankful I am for the
people who fought for our freedom, the country I live in, and the daily
blessings that God showers on me.
Truthfully, It’s been sort of a rough weekend. Two weekends ago I was feeling sentimental
about our little family of 4 changing up.
This weekend, I can’t seem to think about ANYTHING except how READY I am
to MOVE ON to family of 5. It’s like you
hit a point in pregnancy, where it’s just NOT fun anymore, and you start to go
a bit crazy. I feel like a physically
and emotionally overwhelmed ticking time bomb.
With Jesse, I hit this a week or so before he was due. I tried MOST all of the induction techniques
and tales, and nothing worked. I remember feeling frustrated with ALL the
people telling me not to rush, to enjoy my time with Dave, I would never
actually sleep again, my world would be rocked, etc. Good intentioned and I TOTALLY understand
where they are coming from now..... But
I couldn’t really appreciate it at that point.
However, I got tired of trying things and being disappointed when
another day passed, so I quit. Several days later, out came Jesse. Ten full days overdue!
I swore after that
pregnancy that I wouldn’t ever try that sort of thing again. I was a firm believer in the idea that the
baby decides when he/she is ready EVEN if your body feels ready. However...with Janna... I started approaching
that “I”M DONE!” stage, and sure enough drank a few cups of raspberry tea and
opening my mind to the possibilities again.
I had hardly any Braxton hicks and little movement for the whole
pregnancy, and I’d sort of suspected she would follow in big brothers footsteps
and be late. So, when I went inot labor
out of the blue one Tuesday night, two days before I was due, I was quite
surprised and not too agonized over a wait.
Well, all pregnancies are different, and sure enough, this
one has had it’s own little unique set of things. I have had fairly intense Braxton hicks from
very early on with her, and have been having cramping and very real feeling
contractions for maybe a month now? I
sort of suspected she might be a week or so early... and so with that day come
and gone, and More and more labor signs each day, I’ve sort of hit that place
of frustration and anxiety. It’s hard
because I really DON’T want to be like that/this. I want to enjoy my last nights of semi-good
sleep, my kids, my family of 4. But it’s
been a struggle the past few days, and contrary to what I “swore” with Jesse,
have started with the induction techniques J
On Saturday, we let Daddy sleep in and then he took the kids
for a bit while I tried a few different things to get labor going. Nothing, and so we ran a bunch of errands as
a family. The library, getting gas, Tim’s run, a trip to the hospital to submit
some paperwork before birth day, that sort of thing. After
a quick lunch, the kids both failed to
nap for different reasons, and therefore so did Dave and I. We had some coffee and got them up to just
have some family play time in the living room.
I normally really enjoy this, but found myself so uncomfortable I just
ended up laying on the floor feeling very teary and in one very strange
position that felt ok. Dave and Jesse
were playing hide and seek, and Janna kept diving over my hips and head
planting into the floor (purposefully and somehow loving it?) over and over
again. I wish I had this on camera. I needed to snap out of it and get going so
we had an early supper and clean up- and then decided I would join the kids and
Dave on their post supper walk. We would
take them for a much longer walk than normal to see if we could get baby 3
moving.
I feel very lucky that Dave is such an involved and helpful
dad! Since September, every single night
after supper time, Dave takes the kids outside for usually just under an
hour. He works so hard all day, comes
home to walk the dog, down a cup of tea, eat dinner with us, and then spend
time with the kids on his own. They
love it! They race to the door to get
their things on, and always come home SO happy and all about daddy. It also gives me a nice little break from
the kids to get the kitchen and house tidied up, and something else cleaning
related under my belt. I’ll do
bathrooms, or dust, or a mop a floor. I
really don’t mind cleaning or cooking at all.
I would even say that I enjoy it!
However- I REALLY dislike trying to do it with the kids around. I get frustrated trying to juggle those 2
tasks. So- it’s been a very positive tradition thus
far. Dave will sometimes play in the
front or backyard with the kids, but
mostly they go for a walk around the courts we live in. Jesse has finally figured out how to properly
use (and reach) his peddles- so he usually bikes, and Janna will usually
combine the wagon, with hopping out and walking for a bit. Dave has told me about how it can be
stressful when they are near the main road with Jesse wheeling away- but I
never really felt his pain until yesterday.
We bundled up and headed out, and I followed the kids on
their normal paths. Jesse just FLIES
down the sidewalk on his bike. Once in a
while he gets looking at his feet going so fast on the peddles and sways over
to the road. Janna likes to jump up and
down while being pulled in the wagon. It’s dark! It’s a busy street! It’s
scary! I was half jogging alongside
Jesse on his bike blocking the road from his sway. I was
so stressed out! However- Dave has a good system with them, and Jesse does know
when to stop to cross the streets, and listens quite well to daddy. I had to bite my tongue several times not to
undermine Dave’s authority, as he really
does have it under control. Even though
I was stressed out, it’s a good thing they have this little walk/bike
time. It’s a good thing they have one
parent who is a little more cautious, and one who let’s them experience a
little more of life! The funniest thing
that happened on our little jaunt, though, was all of a sudden as we are flying
past a bus stop with a bench, the 3 of
them abruptly stop, sit on the bench and say, “ Oh. We’re waiting for the bus.” I look at Dave and ask what’s going on. He
tells me they do this everytime and Jesse pipes in, “ Sit down,mom, we’re
waiting for the bus” The 3 of them are FROZEN
just like statues on this bench. They are looking
straight ahead with total blank stares and expressions. I join in for a minute, and then all of a
sudden Dave yells, “ Bus! Let’s go!” And
they scurry down from the bench, back into the wagon and bike and plow ahead so
the bus doesn’t actually stop to pick them up.
Oh I laughed.... We stayed
outside for quite a while, and I even took turns pulling both kids in the wagon
and power walking while lifting little 19 pound Janna.
Well, bed time approached and after a bath and hair cut for
Jesse we tucked the kids into bed feeling tuckered out. Dave went on to do some marking for the
night, and I ate chocolate and spicy food and pumped and...... there is no baby
yet!
I went to bed feeling ok, but woke up feeling horrible this
morning. Tired, emotional, heavy, BLAH. After breakfast, Dave took the kids out to
puddle jump, and then we cuddled and watched some TV before he took them to
church. I really enjoyed this part of my
day, and even got a few pictures to share. After Dave headed back out to church with the
kids, I climbed back into bed for a while.
I woke up and had a snack, said
some prayers of thanksgiving, and am now blogging as a final source of
therapy. Hoping for a good perspective
and rest of the day/week. Here are a
few pictures of the morning of my wonderful little family. I also put in a snapshot of all the HOMEMADE
knit hats I have for baby 3 all lined up as a symbol of her impending
arrival. They make me excited. Thanks for reading! I’m out.
Movember.....
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