Well, it’s been about 2 months since my last blog post, and I give myself a big F for that. Last time I updated you all, I was just about to venture into being a mama of 2 all on my own. I was a bit worried, but looking forward to it, and had a really great first week. It isn’t nearly as “hard,” as I thought it would be, but much “busier,” than I thought. Feeding Janna takes a good chunk of time and trying to keep Jesse entertained while I do so, can be challenging. Then the times where Janna is sleeping, I try to balance giving Jesse some good undivided attention, and getting the necessaries done.... having a shower, eating, keeping the house relatively sanitary etc. :S Throw in play dates and groceries and park time, and the day is packed.
Dave has been a great help to me, and while he has lesson plans and marking to do every night, he devotes from 5- 7 for family. He’ll take Jesse out to play and for a stroll while I make dinner, and then after supper give him his bath while I feed Janna. We try and get some sitting and talking about our day in there, and a little family play time too, but that just depends on the day. After Jesse is in bed at 7, I clean up the house, get the laundry in, give Janna her bath and get her to bed. Anyways, Keeping my family clean and fed and clothed and loved takes up just about all my time. Usually by about 8:30 at night I have a chance to breath and sit down, and I’m usually too wiped to do much but watch some TV for an hour before getting to bed. I’ve got to get to bed pretty early if I plan on getting 6 or 7 hours of sleep . It’s been good having the nightly routine for the kids sake, and ours, and I can’t wait for the warmer weather so that we can get out to the park with the kids for a little play before bath and bed time. I keep checking kijij every day for a good double stroller. I have responded to 2 in the past couple of days and they seem to be sold as they are posted!
Jesse’s ears finally cleared up about a month ago, and it was great to have a happy Jesse back for a few weeks. He is such a funny and smart little guy, and a great hugger. However, his 18 month shots were overdue, so we had those done a few days ago, and can I just say, I hate vaccine time! He is so grouchy and whiney, and on top of the terrible twos beginning to surface, I go a bit crazy with him on days when we are stuck in the house. Dave and I are reading a book on bringing up boys, together, and it has been an interesting read! A few very helpful pieces of information so far J
I was secretly worried about having another baby, that I wouldn’t like her as much as Jesse! Isn’t that horrible? But I am totally in love with Janna, equally. She is dainty and sweet, and such a beautiful addition to our family. She is laid back, but also pretty social. She is good to chill in her chair or swing while things are going on, but will squawk if we leave the room. She likes to sleep a lot through the day, but again likes to be sleeping in a room with someone. IF I put her down for a nap in her bedroom upstairs all by herself, she will only do about 45 minutes. But if I have her in her chair or swing down here, or in bed with me, she will sleep for a few hours. She’ll wake up here and there and look around at what’s going on, then fall back asleep. She takes a doozy of an afternoon nap, usually 4 hours if I put her down in her swing in the same room as me. I know, bad sleep habits, but I do what I can. I find I’m way more relaxed this time around with things.
As far as her night sleep, she has started doing a pretty consistent 5- 6 hour stretch at night from 8-1 or 2. She’s ravenous when she wakes up and will feed for like almost an hour before she passes out. But then will wake up usually around 3 or 4 am every half hour over and over and over again. As far as I can tell, she is just lonely. I will go in and she will be so happy to see me. She’ll kick her legs and smile, and just wants to snuggle in to me. She isn’t too interested in playing or eating, or even being awake. She just seems to want cuddles. She doesn’t take long to get back to bed, but then like 30-45 minutes later will be up again. When I get too tired of walking into her room and getting her back to sleep, I’ve been bringing her into bed with me, and she’ll sleep no problem until like 8:30. It’s not really a habit I wanted to start, but I find that I have more sympathy with Janna? I’m not sure that is the right word. Let me explain. When she is up during the day she doesn’t get nearly as much of my time as Jesse does. It’s just his nature and boyishness that demands a lot more of my attention. When Jesse was little, I found it easier to let him cry for a bit (although I rarely let him go more than 20 minutes) because he’d had all my attention all day long! I feel because of her good nature, Janna doesn’t voice her needs as much, and so when she does, I feel like I really want to meet them when I can. Which is, at this point, snuggling with her in the middle of the night at the cost of good sleep for myself. But right now, it’s worth it, to me. So, I do what I feel is best for everyone and what I can live with. I think it will get better with time, she is still so little, and we’ll slowly work towards the beautiful day when she will sleep for 12 hours straight like her brother.
Ahhh...sleep.... it’s what I dream about. And time. I feel totally unsympathetic lately when I hear single people talking about how busy and tired they are. I’m sure I was like that at one point. But, seriously. You can do what you want, when you want. If you’re tired..... sleep. If you feel too busy....cut out an activity or social engagement. Who cares? It’s a pretty undemanding lifestyle. Oooo... I sound like I’m bashing, but I’m really not. I’m just reflecting in hindsight?? Does that make sense.
I’ve come to realise that marriage was a big step for me in learning to live unselfishly consistently. Up until that point, life was about me. Being a kid was about having fun, and then getting education and a job was all about me and what I wanted. Being married is a daily challenge to put someone else above yourself, and it’s hard, but a beautiful way to live: loving someone else as much if not more than yourself. Having kids was a whole ‘nother intense step up from marriage in this regard. They are helpless little creatures who need so much love and attention and being busy and tired is not something you can change. Their needs often can’t wait. Having a spouse to continue to love and balance with your kids is another level of challenge that Dave and I are working at the best we can.
Wow...that was quite the rant. See, I need to blog more often to prevent this. However, I am skipping cleaning my house, folding laundry , and making dinner to write this while the kids nap. I don’t know how often I should/can. But! I have been testing out cloth diapers, which is surprisingly exciting, and feel the need to write out all my observations, so perhaps will do that sometime later this week.
Thanks everyone for reading. I’m out.
