GUILT AND GOOD TIMES

Guilt is something that I definitely deal with on a regular basis as a parent.   Sometimes I think that it is a good thing....it can be conviction that moves me towards truth and things I need to change.  Other times, it is completely unnecessary and hindering in my life.   

Well, today I dealt with a bit of guilt.  You see, I really didn’t spend much time with my kids at all!  When I was working, this would have made me feel very guilty.   Sunday is sort of a chance to bond as a family.  However having a full day of that yesterday- I didn’t feel one ounce of guilt over it.  In fact, I feel like I will probably be a better mom this coming week, because of a day like this.  However- what I did feel very guilty about was how much time Dave ended up spending taking care of the kids.

You see, last night was a BAD BAD night of rest.  To begin with, I was stupid and didn’t eat supper with the kids.  I just wasn’t feeling too hungry.  Then I was stupid again and didn’t get myself into bed till after 11.  At this point, I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything since a cupcake at 4:00, and with some night time “morning sickness” kicking in, I really should have jumped out of bed and got something to eat.  I was just SO comfy and desperately wanted to sleep.  Dave also realized he was a bit hungry and was like, “ Chris, let’s just get up and get a snack. Right now...get it over with.”  However- I was stupid again, and told him I would just try and fall asleep.   Almost 40 minutes later, we both climbed out of bed to hit up the kitchen and feed our rumbling bellies.  It’s funny how I try to pick sleep over food if given the choice!  I fell into bed around midnight, and from about 12- 4 I wrestled with one of those horrible ”new-born prep nights.”  I had nausea, and leg cramps, and back aches, and pee trips, and could not get comfy.  This little girl has taken to a hyper spell around 12 and 3 each night, and her movements are SO crazy and often coupled by hiccups.   I remember finally feeling settled and comfy around 4, and looking at the clock thinking...I’m happy tomorrow is Sunday and I can sleep in until 7:00.  3 hours of sleep is manageable....

Well... Jesse decided he would wake up a bit before 6 this morning.  He was in his room saying, “mommy and daddy. I just need you to come and see this!  I need you to come and see the stars.  I see them out my window!  Wow. They are beautiful....mommmyyyyy.....daaaaaaadddy..... mommy? Daddy?..........Katie???  I see the stars!  Janna?!...”  Now, I wish I could say that I had a beautiful mother and son moment when I crawled into his bed and cuddled him as we looked at the stars and waited for the sun to come up.  However- I’m pretty sure I mumbled something like, “ stupid stars” and put my pillow on my head.  Jesse tried for the next hour to invite people into his bedroom to check out the stars and we all did a good job ignoring him... but I don’t think anyone actually slept through it!

So, a rough night to say the least.   Dave sensed my groggy and exhausted disposition this morning and took care of breakfast and took the kids out of the house for an hour before church.  We all piled into the van, and I then left my kids with wonderful Sunday school teachers and nursery workers for another 2 hours. Then after lunch I put them in their rooms to sleep for a few hours.  And then I spent just a bit of time with them before heading out for a Momma's Date.

A few weeks ago, I brought up the idea with my friend Sarah of getting out for dinner together without the kids or husbands.  We hang out together a lot with the kids, sometimes as families, but rarely just us.  Our husbands, actually, go out for dinner and golf or coffee a few times per year.  I was like, “why have we not done this?!?”  We both have kids the same age who we are at home with, and could use some grown-up time out.   Well, as we were talking we realized that the mom who could probably use it the most is our mutual friend Rebekah.  She already has 3 kids under 3.  So, we figured out a day that worked, and tonight we hit up East Side Marios for supper.  We left the dads at home to cook supper, put the kids to bed AND clean up.  (although- Confession- I felt too guilty to leave Dave to cook!  I may have spent the afternoon cooking a huge roast beef dinner with potatos and gravy for him) 

It was so relaxing to have dinner cooked and cleaned up by someone else- with good conversation and no interrupting kids!  I usually have to get up from the table 3 or 4 times during a meal for something- and so to just sit and leisurely chat and eat and eat and eat......was glorious.  (I told the server as he rushed over to take our orders at the start of the night,  that we were out for some time away from the kids, and we were in NO RUSH).   I felt so young and free!  Here is evidence that this luxury DID occur and I did not just dream up such a great event!

Well, I returned to a quiet and clean house, and got to spend time with Dave for the rest of the evening.  Sundays are our night to hang out, but tonight we promised to be more responsible about aiming for some sleep, and the plan is to be in bed at 10:30! So...with that- I must be on my way. Thanks for reading! I’m out.