Kids say the funniest things

Well, it’s been a busy day filled with friends and fun.  I actually feel too tired to blog about the details.  Haha!  But- I did want to mention a few funny things Jesse has said lately.

“CRAP”

I’ve been bringing my kids to my weekly OB appointments lately instead of trying to arrange or pay for childcare.  They do pretty well playing with toys in the waiting room, and then during the actual appointment I set them up on the 2 cozy chairs with a special snacks.  This gives them something to do  while I have my blood pressure checked, get measured and Dr. Pascali listens for baby’s heart beat.  They usually watch pretty intently and Jesse says, “excuse me Dr. Mascali...” about every 30 seconds to ask a question or tell him a fun fact.  I am lucky my OB has a few kids of his own and is very personable and laid back.  He never seems to mind entertaining Jesse’s non-stop questions and comments.  Anyways, last week the conversation went as follows:

J: excuse me Dr. Mascali.  Do you know mommy has a CRAP in her belly?

DR:  Ummm....

Me:  Sorry Jes, mommy has a what in her belly?

J:  A crap.  You have a crap in your belly.   And Me! I had a crap on my foot! Remember, right here! (as he points to his foot)

Me:  You mean A CRACK in your foot?  Or A CAT was on your foot?   (the nurse and doctor start chuckling and trying not to let Jesse see it,)

J:  Emphatically, very slowly and precisely shouts, “No! A CRAP!” (at which point both the doc and nurse leave for a minute to regain their composure after the laughing spell hits harder)

Me: Speechless ( I pop my head out the door- half laughing- half embarrassed) I have NO idea what he is saying... We don’t use  that word at home....

(I have since figured that he was trying to say CRAMP- as I do get feet cramps and cramps here and there in my stomach.  Unfortunately, he really insists that it is pronounced CRAP.  He told his Sunday school teachers about the CRAP he had on his foot a few days ago as well)

“SPECIAL LITTLE HELPER”

So, the next week at Dr. Pascali’s, we have a med student working with the doc.  Jesse chats him up, and goes into a VERY detailed account of where his food goes, and what it turns into and how it gets out,        (He incorrectly tells the med student that his poo goes down to his toes.) However, he then tells the med student about his drinking habits and correctly identifies the point of exit with gestures and exuberance.   Dr. Pascali joins the room after this awkward exchange, and Jesse says, “Wow! There are 2 of you!  Dr. Mascali, this guy was using YOUR things.  Is this guy your Special little helper?!”  How flattering I say!  The doc genuinely laughs and says to the med student, “I’m sure you’ve been called worse, eh?!”  We’ll see what the child says next week...

“THE PROMISED LAND”

Jesse loves stories!  More than watching TV or reading a book, he loves to be told a story!  Every day in the car he asks me to tell him a story.  I ask what about, and he will give me something random, “An orange lamp named Caleb.”   I make something up on the spot that usually involves magic and potions, and imaginative concepts.  The other stories he loves to hear are Dave’s bible stories at bed time.  Quite historical, but full of interesting and new ideas.  Well, Jesse is becoming quite the story teller himself.   He will ask me to provide the topic and go with it.  He tells me at least one made up story per day, and the combination of biblical ideas, everyday life, and fantasy can paint quite a picture.  Yesterday his story involved my baby being born but with NO  parents.  Here is a little snippet from the middle of the story as best verbatim as I can remember,

“ But! The baby had grandparents and uncles, though.   But one day the baby had to travel to the promised land.  And do you know that that land was called?  The promised land was CANDY LAND!!!  And there was lots of candy..... but babies don't eat candy.... And so, the baby was sad and Jesus came to be the daddy and take care of the baby!  And to help her crawl and pick her up, and sing songs to her...”  The story continues with several twists....

Anyways, just a few funny things from the boy. 

Janna is talking a bit more now, and can say a decent amount of words.  We have: mama, dada, Jes, cat, dog, duck, chin, cheeks, eyes, all-done, head, hair, bum, up, please, yes.    If she is in a mood to repeat words, she does pretty well- but mostly she doesn’t care about talking too much.

A few days ago, Janna was giving Dave attitude.  She was standing up and bouncing on a chair, and Dave asked her to sit down.  She just scowled at him and shook her head, and grunted, “UGH.”  Dave spoke firmer and told her she needed to listen and sit down.  She gave him the deadliest glare and pout you ever did see.  They locked eyes for a bit, and Dave said, “ Janna- does daddy need to come over there and give you a time-out?”  Well- Janna’s whole face and posture changes.  She bats her eyes and coos at him, “Yeeeees” with a sweet grin.  Dave and I just looked at each other and couldn’t help but laugh.  We had no idea if she misunderstood us, or is a genius and playing the humor card to avoid discipline!    

Tonight she was playing with a little duck toy, and I asked her what a duck said.  She KNOWS the correct answer to this, and can say “quack quack.”  Instead, she starts pretending to drive it along my shoulder while beaming and saying, “ vroooom, vroom, vrrroooom.”  I think she has a sense of humor budding in there!

Well, that’s all for tonight.  We had a late and rough night last night, and I have been having several pre-labor sensations the past few days.  I really don’t want to have a Halloween baby- so after folding a bit of laundry I  am going to aim to be in bed and asleep by 9:00 this evening!   Thanks for reading.  I’m out!